


research purposes only

by endzone



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Bad Boy Hwang Hyunjin, But also not, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, Kim Seungmin & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Kim Seungmin is Whipped, Kim Seungmin is a Panicked Gay, M/M, Mentioned Na Jaemin, Mentioned Zhong Chen Le, Promises, Seo Changbin is Wise, Seo Changbin is a Good Hyung, but not sad ending either, not happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:41:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26593888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endzone/pseuds/endzone
Summary: Kim Seungmin was the quiet nerd at the top of the class. Hwang Hyunjin was the typical fuckboy that everybody loved at their school.What happens when they get partnered up to write a love story?
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin
Comments: 17
Kudos: 164
Collections: EQUINOX





	research purposes only

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #095  
> I procrastinated for six months and wrote this in a span of two weeks just in time for Seungmin's birthday...so HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BEST BOY SEUNGMIN! 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it, and I hope I reach the prompters expectations!!!!! If you're the prompter, please tell me what you think! :>>>>>

“This is it. I'm finally gonna die this year,” Felix grabbed his hair as they entered the classroom for their literature class, looking like he had just flunked a test, which he did. “My mom's gonna kill me after I fail calculus.”

“She won't kill you, Lix. Stop overreacting.” Jisu rolled her eyes as they found their way to their proper seats. Felix had always been a drama queen, for the last five years that Seungmin had known him, the latter couldn't remember how many times Felix had whined about how his mom was going to kill him. “She might give you a good ass whooping but... You'll live.”

“Easy for you to say, she's not your mom!”

Seungmin plopped down on his chair and dropped his bag on the floor. He exhaled all the exhaustion that he felt, the surprise quiz in calculus class definitely surprised him even though he passed. The quiz took a toll on the three and they were thankful that literature was their last class of the day. 

“Okay, class, settle down.” Ms. Minatozaki Sana instructed as the final bell rang through the air and the buzz of the students in the room died down. She beamed at her class, “Today is a special day!”

Felix raised his hand and didn't wait for Ms. Minatozaki's acknowledgement. “Is it you and your boyfriend's anniversary?”

A few of their classmates giggled and Ms. Minatozaki rolled her eyes playfully. “No, Felix.”

“Monthsary, then?”

“No.”

“Oh my god, is he gonna propose to you?!”

“No, Felix.”

“Are  _ you _ gonna propose to him?”

“Definitely not.”

“Then when are you gonna get married, Ms. Minatozaki? You're kinda getting old.” Felix blurted out, earning a smack on the head from Jisu. 

“Please put your hand down and let me speak, Felix.” The teacher was still smiling but it was obvious that her patience was growing thin with the freckled boy. “As I was saying, today I'm gonna give you your end of the year projects.”

“This early?” Seungmin asked. 

“Yes, Seungmin.” She nodded at the boy in front of the class. "I know that the semester just started but the task that I'm gonna give you will be a hard one. So I'll give you enough time to work on them, so when the deadline comes, there will be no excuses as to why you haven't finished them yet. I'm talking to you, Felix." She narrowed her eyes at Felix and the boy just pouted. 

“What's the project, Ms. Minatozaki?” A boy from the back of the class raised his hand. 

“You're gonna write a short story,” the teacher said and the whole room buzzed with either indifference or excitement, and for Seungmin, it was the latter. He loved literature and he loved reading, and by extension, he loved writing. Ms. Minatozaki cleared her throat and continued, “with a partner.”

The smile on Seungmin's face dropped, the crops wilted, World War 3 just started, pandas had just gone extinct, and a pimple broke out of his skin. If there was one thing that Seungmin hated more than second-hand smoking, it's working with a partner, even if he's paired with his friends, but at least they were tolerable. His mood immediately dropped, and so he leaned over his desk and grumbled by himself. 

“Each pair would be given a different genre, so there would be no two works alike. A minimum of 10,000 words, and works with more than the minimum words would be given extra points.”

Felix raised his hand. 

“No, Felix. You can't just type random words to exceed the minimum and get extra points. It has to make sense. Content is much more important than the word count.” She intercepted his question and the boy just huffed. 

“I'll give you the criteria later but now, you're gonna have to draw a piece of paper from this box.” She pulled out a small box from her desk drawer and displayed it for the whole class to see.

“Okay, please come to the front and draw one.”

Felix went up to her, put his hand in the box and drew out a white piece of paper. The freckled boy unfolded it and groaned. “Historical fiction?! What did I do to deserve this?” He threw his hands up toward the ceiling as if communicating with some higher being.

“Oooh. That's a good one! Now you can wait for whoever will draw the other historical fiction.” Ms. Minatozaki told him. 

One by one, Seungmin's classmates got up and drew from the box, some squealed in joy that they picked the same genre as their friend, and some rudely scrunched up their faces like they were paired up with Lord Voldemort or something. He opted to go last and let fate decide his partner for him. When he unfolded his piece of paper, it read:  _ Romance _

“Dammit.” He sighed.

“What'd you get?” Ms. Minatozaki peeked at his paper, curious eyes widening. 

“Romance.”

Ms. Minatozaki practically squealed into Seungmin's ear and that made the student jump. She put a hand on his shoulder and gave a not so gentle squeeze. “Gosh, I'm so excited for your work, Seungmin!”

Seungmin was arguably the best student in her class. Scratch that. Seungmin was the best student in his whole batch; he was responsible, incredibly smart, and very punctual. He never got into trouble(except for that one time that he was late because of a completely valid reason), he's got perfect marks, and he's pretty much  _ every _ teacher's pet. That explained why Ms. Minatozaki was so ecstatic about his project, she had always loved the assignments that he passed to her. 

He awkwardly backed away from his teacher and asked around who his pair was. “Hey, Jongho, did you get romance too?”

“Oh, no, Seungmin. I got sci-fi.” Jongho showed him his piece of paper. Then he pointed at the back of the class. “I think Minkyoung got romance.”

Seungmin made his way to the girl who was also looking around for her pair. “Minkyoung.”

“Seungmin? Did you get romcom too?”

“Oh.” He sighed. Jongho was mistaken but honestly, Seungmin was relieved that he didn't have to pair up with Minkyoung. She was a loud  _ loud _ girl and he never would've lived through the semester if he was paired up with her. “Nevermind. I got normal romance.”

A few minutes passed and the whole class, except Seungmin, had found their partners. Where the actual fuck was his partner? He looked around frantically and he was sure that everyone was talking with their pair now, and for a moment, he was relieved that maybe fate gave him the chance to work alone. He smiled to himself, satisfied. 

But fate had other plans for him, and Ms. Minatozaki noticed his lack of partnership. “Seungmin? Where's your pair?”

“I have the same question, Miss.” He shrugged. 

“Did anyone else get romance?” She asked the class, her volume slightly turned up. The students just looked up from their conversations and stared at her blankly. Silence means no. “That's odd.”

She looked at the box in her hand and inside was one last piece of paper. “Oh! There's one more.”

“What?” Seungmin took a peek at the box and he saw that she wasn't lying. 

“Is somebody absent?” She asked and scanned the room. Seungmin followed her line of sight, and when she stopped her head, he did too. His heart sank. The chair at the back corner of the classroom was empty.

Seungmin knew who the owner of that seat was and it was none other than-

“Hwang Hyunjin. Absent again, I see.” Ms. Minatozaki exhaled in disappointment. “Well, Seungmin, that solves the mystery. Your fellow romance partner is Hwang Hyunjin.”

“Please don't say it that way.” Seungmin's face scrunched up as he whined. “Can't I just do this on my own? I do better by myself anyway and he probably won't help me.”

“Seungmin, I just can't leave a student out of a project. I'm a teacher and I should give all students fair opportunities.”

“He probably won't do it and fail class anyway!” He raised his voice unintentionally. 

Ms. Minatozaki was taken aback, she narrowed her eyes at Seungmin. “Kim Seungmin, you have proven yourself to be the most responsible student in this class. So act like it.”

Seungmin's throat had gone dry and all the blood in his face had disappeared. The teacher sighed and rubbed her temple, her expression softening and she continued, “Look, I know that Hwang Hyunjin has a reputation in this school, but I can't change what fate chose, the least I could do for you is not giving him the same grade as you if he actually decides not to help you. At least have a little faith in your classmate.”

Seungmin nodded but he was grumbling on the inside, maybe throwing a bad word or two at the teacher. Who would have faith in  _ the _ Hwang Hyunjin? 

—

“Mr. Hwang, welcome back! While you were gone, I discussed your end of the year project and your partner for that will be Mr. Kim. Please talk with him after class.” That was the first thing that Hyunjin heard when he entered the class, late. It wasn't the best thing to hear when you first walked in a class… but it wasn't the worst either(Mr. Ko from his chemistry class once welcomed him back from hell.) 

He nodded and sat down on his seat at the back. He was paired up with the resident prude of the school and he didn't know how to feel about that. He wasn't ignorant of how Kim Seungmin had sent him the stink eye countless times before. But he knew that he was smart, so maybe it wouldn't be that bad.

After pretending to listen to Ms. Mimatozaki ramble on about Romeo and Juliet, the class ended and Hyunjin saw from the corner of his eyes that Seungmin was approaching him.

“Hwang Hyunjin.” He breathed out.

Saying his complete name was very unnecessary but Hyunjin opted to say the same. “Kim Seungmin.”

“You're my partner for the project.” Seungmin said while looking out the window, avoiding his eyes. His two friends standing awkwardly behind him. 

“Yes I've heard.” Hyunjin shouldered his backpack and stood up to meet Seungmin's level. “So what's it about?”

“We have to write a short story and our genre is romance.”

“Oh.” Hyunjin thought for a moment and smirked. “Way out of your area of expertise, huh?”

He heard Felix snort behind Seungmin which earned him a slap on the shoulder from Jisu. Seungmin glared at him with balled fists. “I'm not afraid to commit murder, Hwang Hyunjin.”

“You won't be able to graduate if you will.” He pushed his buttons a little more, guessing that education was probably the most important thing for the boy in front of him. 

“God, you're such a jerk.” Seungmin rolled his eyes and huffed. “Anyways, I'm very capable of doing this project on my own but if you won't help me out on this, I won't hesitate to tell Ms. Minatozaki.”

“Aye, aye, Captain.” Hyunjin made a show of giving him a lousy salute. “I don't know what you expect of me, Seungmin. But I can be pretty useful in projects too.”

“Doubtful.” Seungmin said as he walked away with his friends.

—

“Seungmin, this is a project for a pair. Tell me how I can help.” Hyunjin told the younger. They went to his house after class to start on their project and it's been thirty minutes since Seungmin started typing on Hyunjin's laptop without acknowledging the presence of the house's owner. 

“I told you. I can handle this one my own.” Seungmin said as Hyunjin observed his fingers gliding over the keyboard as if they were in Fast and Furious. “Your help is letting me type on your laptop. Now you can just... Sit there and look pretty.”

“So you think I'm pretty?” Hyunjin tilted his head.

“No. You look like malnourished Edward Cullen.” Seungmin said without looking up from the screen. 

“You offend me, Kim Seungmin.” Hyunjin placed a hand over his heart, feigning hurt. 

“And you annoy me, Hwang Hyunjin.” He said with a very monotone voice. It's been two days since they planned for their project and all that Seungmin had been doing was throwing insults toward the older and surprisingly, Hyunjin found the insults refreshing instead of offensive. He had been so used to all the compliments that everyone gave him that Seungmin's insults felt like a breath of fresh air. 

“Oh, come on! Let me contribute to the actual writing of the story!” Hyunjin demanded. It worked. Seungmin stopped typing and faced him(without rolling his eyes first, of course.)

“Fine.” Seungmin sighed. “Help me with the names of the characters.”

Hyunjin looked at him weirdly. “You mean you have been typing non stop for thirty whole minutes and you still don't have names for them?!” 

“The story came flowing out of my brain, I didn't have time to name them.”

“So... what? They were just nameless while you were writing?”

“I referred to them as character A and B. Stop asking so many questions and be useful. Now give me a name.”

“Hyunjin.” 

“You want the main character to be named after you?” Seungmin leered.

“And what about it?”

“I don't know. I knew that you were narcissistic.” Seungmin started to type again, changing all the 'character As' to 'Hyunjin'. “I just didn't know that you were  _ that  _ narcissistic.”

Hyunjin chuckled, his eyes turning into crescents. “Hey! I'm not!”

“Whatever you say.” Seungmin rolled his eyes again. “And what should the name of the girl be?”

“Seungmin.” Hyunjin muttered, trying to hide the smirk that was forming on his face, but ultimately failing. 

Seungmin stopped typing and he stared at Hyunjin. He wasn't exactly glaring at him... but he was just staring emotionlessly at him but still quite evident that he was done with the older's bullshit. “You fucking wish, Hwang Hyunjin.” 

“What?” He asked innocently. 

“I will  _ not _ name this character after me and the love interest is a  _ girl! _ ” Seungmin pointed at him. 

Hyunjin scrunched up his face. “It's a straight couple?”

“Obviously.”

“Can they both be boys?” Hyunjin leaned forward which caused the younger to lean backwards. 

“You want the characters to be gay?”

“Yeah... Why? Is there something wrong with boys being in love?” Hyunjin asked, tilting his head.

Seungmin fell silent for a few seconds. Seconds that could've meant nothing but could also mean millions of unexplainable words. But he eventually answered, “No.”

“So you'll change them?” Hyunjin asked. 

“Sure, whatever.” Seungmin started to erase the female pronouns in the text. 

“So you'll name them after us?” Hyunjin asked too eagerly, leaning forward.

“Gross. No.” The younger placed his hand on Hyunjin's face and pushed him as far away as possible. 

—

A week later, they passed the story to Ms. Minatozaki. Seungmin placed the ten-page paper on the teacher's desk, buzzing with excitement, and Hyunjin standing awkwardly behind him.

They stayed behind while the teacher read their paper even though she said that it was really unnecessary as she could just relay her thoughts the next day, but Seungmin insisted.

Seungmin's face dropped when Ms. Minatozaki finished reading the story with a disappointed sigh.

“Seungmin,” The teacher exhaled and leaned over her desk. Three seconds passed and Hyunjin just looked at the two having an unofficial staring contest. 

“What? Seungmin, what? Seungmin,  _ what? _ ” He demanded.

“What is this?” She motioned at the stack of paper in front of her. 

“It's the short story that you made us write.”

“You wrote this?”    
  


“Of course! I didn’t just copy that from the internet!”   
  


“I’d rather hear that you copied this from the internet to be honest.” She sighed, setting her glasses on her desk. “It was like a robot wrote this.”   
  


“What? Why? What’s the problem?”   
  
“The emotions...or lack thereof.”

Seungmin was flabbergasted. Everytime he passed a project in the past, his teachers would always give him praise, especially Ms. Minatozaki. This was the first time that he didn’t get praise  _ and  _ was criticized that his project was lacking. Hyunjin snorted at the sight of Seungmin’s horrified face.

“Seungmin, have you ever been on a date?” Ms. Minatozaki asked.  
  
He looked away, cheeks burning. He didn’t want to answer the question, especially with the presence of the school’s resident fuckboy. “No.” He mumbled anyway.

“Well, no wonder your writing has no emotions.” She arranged her things on her desk, handed the stack of papers back to Seungmin, and got up. “I’ll let you rewrite that and give you another chance. I know you have it in you, Seungmin. I’ll see you both next meeting.” She said and strutted out the door.  
  
“What makes you think that I’ll be able to experience these emotions anytime soon?!” Seungmin yelled out, hoping she’d hear.

Thankfully, she did. They heard her yell back from the hallway, “That’s why you have Mr. Hwang with you! Ask him! Teamwork makes the dream work!”   
  


Seungmin grumbled and turned to face Hyunjin, who was looking up at the ceiling acting all innocent but his sly smirk said otherwise.

“Not a word.”    
  


“I didn’t say anything!”

“I said not a word!”

—

“No offense, Seungmin, but this  _ does  _ seem like it was written by a robot.” Hyunjin said after reading the whole paper. Seungmin didn’t let him read the story when he had finished writing it, he simply saved it to his flash drive, printed it, and handed it to Ms. Minatozaki. Hyunjin didn’t mind though, he figured that the earlier they passed the project, the better. But now they’re in his kitchen counter again and Seungmin finally gave him the papers for him to read.

“You write it then!” Seungmin grumbled while glaring at him. His mouth forming a small pout and his cheeks puffing out. He looked more adorable rather than threatening. Hyunjin chuckled.

“Hey, I was practically begging you to let me help you with the writing.” He folded his arms across his chest and put on a smug face. “But you just told me to sit here and look pretty. So between you and me, I actually did my job right.”

Seungmin just glared at him and Hyunjin couldn’t help but to find him cute, he snorted in response.

“Was that true?” Hyunjin asked suddenly.   
  


“Was  _ what _ true?” Seungmin huffed while tapping wood on the kitchen counter. If he was being honest, he knew what Hyunjin was asking about but it irked him that the older was curious about his non-existent love life.

“About you having no experience in dating?”

“Do you really think that I would be someone who’s interested in dating?” 

“Well, I don’t know, maybe?” Hyunjin shrugged. “But have you atleast ever had a crush on someone?”    
  


Seungmin chewed the inside of his cheek, thinking. Has he ever had a crush on someone? “No, I don’t think so.” 

“ _ You’ve never liked someone?! _ ” Hyunjin prodded, as if Seungmin had committed a crime. “Not even your best friend?”

“Felix’s a dumbass, He’s my best friend but I’d die before I ever develop feelings for that dingo.” 

“Oh.” The older’s mouth left hanging open. “So...you’re gay? Because when I said best friend I meant Jisu.”

The atmosphere between them changed and Seungmin suddenly looked constipated. It was obvious to Hyunjin that the younger didn’t intend to implicate what he had just said and he was probably panicking on the inside now. Hyunjin took the initiative to reassure him. “Not that there’s anything wrong with you being gay… I’m completely fine with that. I’m bisexual by the way.”

Seungmin exhaled the breath he had been holding, he seemed calmer and he had a cheeky grin on his face. “Everybody knows that you are, Hyunjin. That’s no secret to anyone.” 

“Hey! I’m trying to make you feel better and this is what I get in return?” Hyunjin huffed and rolled his eyes at the boy beside him. Seungmin giggled and it took him off guard. It was probably the first time that the boy had ever smiled or laughed around him. 

“Oh my god, Kim Seungmin, are you actually laughing?” He put a hand over his hand in disbelief. “I didn’t know you were capable of doing a gesture that isn’t hostile.” 

“Jerk.” Seungmin rolled his eyes again but with a smile this time. “Just don’t tell anyone.”

“I may be a bad person, Kim Seungmin.” He put a hand over his chest sincerely. “But I am not a snitch. I promise.” 

That brought another chuckle from the brown-haired boy, and maybe Hyunjin could get used to that sound.

“God, I don’t know how the fuck we’ll pull this off.” Seungmin leaned over the counter, hands grasping his hair. He stayed that way for a while, thinking. “Wait, you’ve had loads of experience with this dating and love stuff, right? Just tell me how it feels and I’ll write it down!” He blurted out, having a eureka moment.

Hyunjin smiled at his cuteness. “Okay, Kim Seungmin.”

—

They were sitting on their usual table in the courtyard of their school. Seungmin was reading in advance for their next topic for chemistry, Jisu was reading Seungmin and Hyunjin’s revised project that they had worked on last weekend, and Felix was talking to himself. 

“Here, smell my arm.” Felix placed his hand in front of Seungmin’s face without a warning.

“Why the fuck?” Seungmin pushed his arm away.

“Have you not been listening to what I’ve been saying?”

“I was reading about esterification and I thought you were talking to yourself.” He admitted.

“I was talking about this article I found on the internet that taught me how to make my skin naturally smell like honey, for fuck’s sake.” He said and held out his hand again. “Now smell my arm.”

Seungmin rolled his eyes, took a whiff, and put on the fakest smile that he could ever muster. “Smells good, huh? That’s my natural scent now.” Felix proudly smiled at himself.

It smelled  _ nothing _ like honey.  _ It smelled like nothing.  _ “Good for you, buddy.” Seungmin replied, patting the freckled boy on the back.

Seungmin was about to go back to his reading when someone cleared their throat behind them. “Excuse me?” 

The two boys turned around, Jisu couldn’t be bothered. Standing there was Na Jaemin, editor-in-chief of the school’s newspaper; and Zhong Chenle, his second-in-command.

“Yeah?”

“We’ll get to the point. So we’re planning to write an article for the school paper about model students—”

“And you want to interview me.” Felix interrupted before Jaemin could finish. “I get it. I mean, who wouldn’t want to read about me? I’ll do it, Jaemin. So when is the interview?”

Jaemin and Chenle looked at each other for a second and turned back to them, pointing at Seungmin. “Actually, we want to interview Seungmin.” 

Felix furrowed his brows and Seungmin snorted. “Wait, Seungmin? I’m a model student too. I have high grades too. Why not me?”

Chenle leaned forward and cupped a hand over his mouth, as if to say a secret. “Because you reek of desperation.”

Felix’s face scrunched up, looking offended. Jaemin elbowed Chenle, telling him to be nice, and the younger boy doubled over in pain. Seungmin chuckled and copied Chenle’s gesture of cupping his hand over his mouth, “That’s his natural scent now.”

The four of them bursted into laughter, even Felix could admit that that was hilarious but he still hit that back of Seungmin’s head. 

When their laughter died down, Jaemin spoke up and turned his eyes to Seungmin. “So what do you say?”

“He’ll do it.” Suddenly, a wild Hwang Hyunjin appeared and sat across Seungmin, sipping on a drink. 

“Excuse me?” 

“It’s a good thing. People will know how smart you are.” The raven-haired boy’s eyes turned into crescents. It annoyed him.

“Why the hell are you here? We’re not friends.” He said, matter-of-factly but the boy across him continued on sipping his pink drink that was probably 90 percent sugar. Seungmin’s blood boiled, they shared a few laughs last weekend and maybe he could admit that he had a somewhat decent time but that doesn’t mean that Hwang Hyunjin could just waltz into their friend group and act like they were childhood bestfriends. 

“He’s got a point you know.” Felix said.

“Oh yeah? What is his point, Lix? Please explain it to me.”

“Damn, I don’t know? I just wanted to see you pissed.” 

Hyunjin laughed and gave Felix a highfive as if they had just defeated the final boss of a videogame. Seungmin felt betrayed, he’ll remember this day.

“I’ll think about it.” Seungmin said to Jaemin. He honestly didn’t want to do it, but for now, he just wanted to get rid of the two journalists.

“Okay,” Jaemin smiled and bowed. “Just contact us if you’ve made up your mind.”

The two walked away and now there’s four of them left on the table. Seungmin’s face soured when he faced front, because Hyunjin was right across from him, smiling like an idiot. 

“Why are you here?” Seungmin whined.

Hyunjin pointed at Jisu, minding her own business, reading their project. “I saw Jisu reading our story, I wanted to know what she thinks.”

“There’s no way that you saw that she’s reading our story from afar.” Seungmin narrowed his eyes, demanding the truth.

“Okay, fine.” He sighed. “Jisu texted my sister that she’s reading our story and she told me… So I spent most of lunchbreak finding you guys.” 

“You and Yeji text?” Seungmin turned to his friend who was trying to focus on her reading, but she was already turning red.

She cleared her throat. “W-what?” 

“You didn’t tell us that you’re friends with his sister.” Felix said.

“Well, she’s on the table tennis team with me… so yeah.” She smiled nervously. “We’re not that close. We just text from time to time.”

Seungmin and Felix share a pointed look and they smirk at their friend. Jisu burned red again and glared at them, she threw the pile of papers back to Seungmin and huffed. “There. I’m done. It sucks.”

“Hey! You’re just saying that because we’re teasing you!” Seungmin glared back.

“Well, be nice and maybe I’ll tell you what I actually think about it!” She raised her fist, threatening to hit both boys.

“Okay, fine! We’re sorry! Geez!” Seungmin said while both of them held up their hands in defense. “God, you give us anxiety.” 

“Good.”

“You guys are funny.” Hyunjin chuckled at their banter and Seungmin’s eyes almost disappeared into his skull. He forgot that the bane of his existence was still sitting across from him. “So was it really that bad, Jisu?”

“Well, Seungmin’s writing was good, as always.” Jisu rolled her eyes at him and Seungmin gave her a grateful smile. “But, Ms. Minatozaki was right. It lacks emotion.” 

“What?! But that’s already the revised version!” Seungmin groaned and shrinked in his seat. He wanted the ground to swallow him whole.

“Really? If I read the revised one, then how bad was the version that Ms. Minatozaki read?” 

Seungmin groaned louder and rested his head on the table. “We already edited that last weekend.”

“How the hell did you edit it exactly?” 

“I asked him about his experiences with dating, how he feels when he’s dating. Stuff like that.” He mumbled and Hyunjin nodded.

“Well, apparently, that didn’t work.” Felix pointed out.

“No shit, Sherlock.” Seungmin sulked. He already did his best but his work was still emotionless. He was pretty sure that he could experience emotions but why the heck can’t he show it through his writing? Writing was the only thing he’s good at that he actually enjoyed, and now that people are indirectly saying that he’s bad at it, he’s having an existential crisis.

“Hey, I have an idea.” Jisu said and Seungmin looked up from his existential crisis, desperate eyes focused on her. “Remember when you wrote that fucked up horror story about the girl who dated a guy that turned out to be a serial killer?”

“Damn. That was fucked up, I still get chills when I think about that.” Felix shuddered and Seungmin felt a wave of pride go over him, that was his best work so far.

“Exactly,” Jisu said looking at Seungmin pointedly. But the boy was lost, not exactly understanding what she was getting at. She sighed, “Everyone who read it felt disturbed and genuinely got scared at some point while reading your work.” 

“Yeah, so what does that have to do with my current predicament?”

“Well, you told us that you used to spend your summer nights watching horror and thriller movies, you scared yourself every night for months and you eventually became immune to being scared. But all those horror marathons that you had made you  _ understand  _ fear; and eventually, you also understood how to put it into words. That’s why that work was so good, because you experienced the emotion yourself.”

“So, Seungmin has to experience dating!” Felix shouted at the top of his lungs and jumped up from his seat, overjoyed by his conclusion.

“Love, to be exact.” Jisu corrected him.

“What the fuck?” Seungmin pulled him back down. “I can just watch romantic movies, you know?”

“No. I think Felix is right.” Jisu interjected.

“Why is he right? Why is Felix right? Felix is never right!” He was getting impatient and it doesn’t help that Hyunjin was just watching their little performance.

“Do you remember how many times the three of us had sleepovers and had movie marathons with romantic movies?” 

“I don’t know? I’ve lost count, maybe five or six times.”

“Exactly,” Jisu smiled with mirth. “And you still write romance like the little virgin that you are.”

Hyunjin snorted at that, earning a warning glare from Seungmin. To make it worse, Felix had to open his mouth, “Alexa, play Bad Romance by Lady Gaga.” Their table erupted in laughter, except for Seungmin who was glaring at his two friends and his one acquaintance. 

“Okay! I get it!” Seungmin rolled up the papers in his hand and smacked the three of them with it. “What do I do then?”

“Oh, you won’t do anything.” Jisu said, rubbing her forehead where Seungmin had hit her. “Hyunjin will teach you how dating and love works.” 

They fell silent for a few seconds and that silence only broke when Felix’s squeal filled the air. “I second the motion!” He yelled.

“Wait, woah, what? That’s stupid!” 

“You have a better idea, Einstein? You’re the smartest in our class, so you must have a great idea up your sleeve.” Jisu mocked.

Seungmin, in fact, didn’t have a great idea up his sleeve. So he just kept his mouth shut and sulked in his seat. His eyes wander around and it lands on Hyunjin, his elbow resting on the table and his head propped on his hand, looking at him with an amused smile. It annoyed him so much that his face started to burn. “Well? What do you have to say? Maybe you have an idea.”

“Oh, I think Jisu’s idea is perfect.” His smile became wider and his eyes turned into crescents, Seungmin hated that look on him. 

He was hopeless, he knew there was no other way, he couldn’t think of other ways to solve his— their problem. So he slouched and gave up, “Fine! Fine! I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this stupid plan.” 

“It’s the only plan we’ve got.” Hyunjin said leaning forward, and  _ god, _ does Seungmin want to smack that grin off his face. 

The ring of the bell filled the air, indicating that lunch break was over. “And just to be clear,” Seungmin stood up, grabbed his things, and pointed at the three of them. “This is for research purposes only!”

He walked away without waiting for the other three. “For research purposes only.” They repeated.

—

Seungmin snorted on his iced chocolate when Felix finished his story. The three best friends were hanging out in  _ The Blueprint _ , the self-proclaimed “best coffee shop in town” but the truth was that it was completely mediocre. They just liked to hang there because it was the nearest coffee shop to their houses. 

Felix was talking about what his mom had made him do that morning. Which was to babysit their neighbor for a few hours just until the kid’s parents returned, and according to Felix, the kid was a devil spawn. The little gremlin bit his ear when he tried to fix her suspenders, and Seungmin could still see the bite marks on his ear. She punched his groin when he just tried to offer some snacks to her, which the little shit accepted anyway. To top everything off, when Felix was about to leave, the girl incriminated him to her parents about him breaking the swing set when in fact it was her that broke it. Luckily, the parents believed him when he denied her allegations. So Felix was just very wishful that she would suffer in the hands of karma.

“I swear that my blood pressure is the highest it has ever been.” Felix was fiddling with a paper napkin and was basically murdering it, probably imagining that it was the girl that he babysat. Seungmin wiped the chocolate that snorted out from his nose and Jisu was laughing so hard that she had tears in her eyes. It’s hard to tell if she was laughing at Felix’s story or Seungmin snorting chocolate; probably both.

They were happy, he wouldn’t want anything more than this and if it were up to him, he would’ve stayed this way with Felix and Jisu until they graduated at the end of the year; the aroma of caffeine filling their noses, laughter echoing around the room, and their cheeks aching from laughing too hard. But of course life didn’t want that for Seungmin, some higher being wanted him to suffer; because suddenly, the door of the coffee shop opened and in walked Hwang Hyunjin. Great, he thought. His guardian angel was probably dead in a ditch somewhere.

His mood soured immediately as he glared at the approaching male, his two friends noticed his change of mood and followed his gaze. “What the fuck is malnourished Edward Cullen doing here?”

“I invited him.” Jisu said, adjusting her position on her seat and turning around to greet Hyunjin. “Hey, Hyunjin.”

“Hi,” Hyunjin beamed at the three. “How’s everyone?”

“Are you out of your mind?” Seungmin whisper-shouted at her, completely ignoring the fact that Hyunjin just slid into the seat next to him.

“You said that you’d go out on a date with him! Well, this is it! We set it up for you.”

“I never said that,” He scoffed. “I said I’d let him teach me about love and shit, nothing about dating him!”

“Well what do you expect him to do? Give lectures? Make a powerpoint presentation?” Felix asked and gestured at Hyunjin, who was picking the chocolate chips off of Seungmin’s cookies. “Look at him, do you think he’s capable?”

“Hey, that’s offensive.” Hyunjin sent Felix a glare and took a bite out of the cookie. “Though, it’s true.”

Felix and Jisu snorted at him, and Seungmin snatched the cookie out of his hand. “That’s mine, dipshit, and no, I’m not going on a date with you.” 

“Great golden grapefruits! Why do you have to make everything so difficult for yourself, Seungminnie?” Felix threw his hands up in the air, frustrated at his friend. “Fine. Go and fail literature.” 

Felix shoved a throw pillow in between him and Seungmin, he liked to do that sometimes, sulk like a child that was deprived of playtime. Hyunjin leaned over the table to whisper to Jisu, “Did he just say 'great golden grapefruits’?”

“He curses like that sometimes, you’ll get used to it.” 

Hyunjin chuckled and the demon on Seungmin’s shoulder was begging to knock him out. “Anyways, it’s okay. We don’t have to go on dates.”

“We don’t?” Seungmin turned to the raven-haired boy, he didn’t think that the boy would agree with him but there he was, agreeing.

“We can just hangout and stuff.” Hyunjin said.

“How will our little virgin friend learn from just hanging out?” Jisu tilted her head.

“Hey, we’re all virgins here, fuck you.” 

“Not me.” Felix announced with his chest puffing out and a shit-eating grin on his face. 

“Oh, please, Lix.” Seungmin shut him down. “You’d be the  _ king _ of the virgins.”

“Then you should be on your knees in front of me.” Felix gave him a dirty smirk, wiggling his eyebrows. Seungmin shoved the freckled boy out of his seat and he hit the hardwood floor with a loud thud. Jisu and Hyunjin exploded into laughter. 

“That’s a foul!” Felix scolded while rubbing his hip. “Anyways, Hyunjin, please elaborate as to why you don’t have to go on dates.”

By that time, Hyunjin had already completely eaten the cookie and he had crumbs all over his mouth, Seungmin had to resist rolling his eyes. “I don’t really have an elaboration but...just trust me.”    
  


“Good enough for me.” Felix shrugged. “Let’s go, Jisu, our job here is over.” 

What happened next was too fast for Seungmin’s brain to process, Felix stood up along with Jisu, they said some things that he didn’t quite comprehend but he surely heard the words: “go” and “bye”, then they literally ran to the exit, hand-in-hand. 

Seungmin had only realized what was happening when the door had closed behind his (ex)best friends' backs. He stood up and yelled after their disappearing figures, even if they wouldn’t be able to hear, “Don’t leave me alone with this dingo!”

“Y’know, I’m sitting right next to you and I can hear you.”

“That’s the goal.” Seungmin leered at him. He stood up and threw his bag over his shoulder.

“Woah, there. Where do you think you’re going?” 

“I’m leaving, obviously.” He said and he was taken aback when Hyunjin pulled him back down by the wrist.

“We’re here for research.” Hyunjin reminded him, his face blank. Seungmin just sat there and stared at him, trying to figure out what the other boy was thinking. Then, he realized that he was still holding on to his wrist and it burned his skin. He pulled his hand away and Hyunjin spoke up again, “Fine, I’ll let you go. But if you walk out that door right now, that’s it. I won’t help with this project anymore and I’ll leave you to pass whatever paper to Ms. Minatozaki.”

Seungmin bit the inside of his cheek. He hated it when he had no other choice; technically he does, but his grades were on the line and there was no universe in the whole multiverse where Kim Seungmin has a grade less than A in literature. At least not in this one.

He huffed and looked straight at his long-forgotten drink, condensation dripping on the sides of the glass. “Well, what now?”

“We get to know each other.” Hyunjin leaned forward on the table and rested his head on his elbow, facing Seungmin with a smile.

“Sounds like a fucking date to me.” The younger boy glared.

“Well do you want it to be a date?” 

“You wish.”

“Then stop talking about dates. You’re the one who keeps mentioning dates.”

“God, why are you so annoying?” 

“Why are you so difficult?” Hyunjin rebutted, earning a glare from the boy beside him. Honestly, he’s already very used to his glare, too much that he found it cute. So he just giggled in response. “But I like difficult.” 

Seungmin averted his gaze towards the counter, away from the other boy’s stupid stare… because he can feel his face heating up, he doesn’t know why but the one reason that his head came up with is making him hate himself. 

“Tell me, Seungmin, what’s your favorite color?” 

“That’s your best pickup line?” Seungmin snorted at him.

“Oh, you want a pickup line?” Hyunjin sat up straighter as if to ready himself and the younger panicked, he should’ve known better than to tease a well-known flirt.

So before Hyunjin could speak up again, he answered his question, “It’s blue.”

“Blue? Why?”

“I don’t know? Because it’s the color of the sky, I like the sky.” Seungmin waited for him to prod him for more but he didn’t.

“Hmm.” Hyunjin just stared at him for a few seconds before saying his own answer, “Mine’s a very dark blue.” 

“What’s your reason?” 

“Because that's the color of the sky at night and I like the night sky.” He slouched against the couch.

“Oh, okay.” He didn’t know what else to say so he just sat there and ran his fingers through the condensation on his drink.

“Is that your favorite drink here?” Hyunjin asked, trying to make more conversation. 

“Yeah. I don’t like coffee, it makes my tummy ache.” 

The older giggled beside him and Seungmin turned to glare at him because what the fuck is so funny about coffee making his tummy ache? Hyunjin looked at him and said, “That’s cute.” 

“Some people can’t handle coffee well, okay?” He furrowed his eyes while he explained.

“No, it’s cute that you still use ‘tummy’ instead of ‘stomach’.” His face lit up and his eyes turned into crescents again; Seungmin couldn’t help but to stare at the mole near his eye. He felt his stomach churn.

“Fuck you.” 

“Why do you hate me so much?” Hyunjin asked, but he had a smile on.

“I don’t hate you, you annoy me.” Seungmin corrected him.

“Well why?” Hyunjin shifted his body to face Seungmin and it made him nervous. “Did it not ever occur to you that I’m actually trying to be decent with you and I kinda actually want to be your friend?” 

Seungmin doesn’t hold back. “You’re a fuckboy, you walk in a room and all the panties and boxers drop to the floor. You’re handsome and you get everything you want without ever asking or working hard for it, and it’s so fucking frustrating. Some people actually work hard for their success but you just smile and flash your pretty little teeth and the gods swoon and spoon feed you everything. Not just that, but you also get away with anything, you bat your pretty lashes and then suddenly the teachers forget why you were in trouble in the first place and  _ it makes me sick,  _ because I once got detention just because I was late to class for helping an old lady cross the street. You know what?  _ I do hate you.  _ You and your kind.”

He didn’t know what came over him, the words just poured out of his mouth like an overflowing dam, but he finally saw the consequences of his words when he saw Hyunjin looking at the table. His face was blank but Seungmin saw the emotions below it. Hurt, guilt, remorse, and confusion. He never expected to ever see those emotions on the older boy’s face but there they were, sitting beside each other with a heavy atmosphere between them.

“Oh.” Hyunjin said after a while, jaw clenched and voice low. Seungmin was bad with emotions but it wasn't rocket science to know that he was hurt. “Does everybody think of me like that?”

His usually bright smile was nowhere to be found, the light in his eyes dimmed, and he looked drained of all energy. Seungmin felt horrible, “Hyunjin…”

“I’m sorry, I have to go.” Hyunijn suddenly stood up but before he could walk away and walk out the door, Seungmin grabbed his wrist, preventing him from leaving.

“Wait,” He didn’t know exactly what to say. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

Except he  _ did _ mean it, but after seeing the look on the other boy’s face, he felt genuinely horrible. “Stop lying.”

“I— Let me make it up to you.” What the fuck was he thinking? What the fuck was he saying? He only knew he really needed to pass literature. But was that the only reason?

“I know a place that never fails to cheer me up.” Seungmin tried with an awkward smile but the raven-haired boy was just looking at him, unimpressed. The tables have turned. “My treat.” 

To his surprise, Hyunjin agreed.

They walked in the doors of the arcade a few blocks from the cafe, and Hyunjin already had a smirk on his face directed at Seungmin. “An arcade? Really?”

“Hey! I like arcades!” Seungmin replied.

They play almost all of the games the whole afternoon, laughter and smiles shared between the two boys. They played until their eyes burned from all the LED screens, until the neon colors of the arcade had taken over their vision.

Seungmin came in there with the goal of cheering Hyunjin up; the good news was that the boy did cheer up, the bad news was that Seungmin is annoyed all over again because he lost each and every game that they played. But this time, it wasn’t the bad kind of annoyed. 

“Are you sure that you come here often?” Hyunjin snorted at him after he ‘finished him’ in Mortal Kombat. 

“Hey, I said I liked arcades.” Seungmin pointed at his chest. “I never said that I was good at all of the games!” 

That earned a loud chuckle from Hyunjin’s chest, his face brightening up with emotion. “So what games are you good at exactly?”

Seungmin bit the inside of his cheek, hesitating whether he should tell him his weird talent or not. After a few seconds of contemplation, he spoke up, “The claw machine.” 

“Oh god.” He had a stupid look on his face that Seungmin couldn’t identify. 

“Oh god, what?” Seungmin demanded.

“Show me.” Hyunjin grabbed his wrist and dragged the younger boy towards the nearest claw machine. “Now.”

They stopped in front of a dark purple claw machine full of Pokemon plushies, and when Hyunjin let go of his hand, he immediately inserted a coin inside the machine. Seungmin’s heart pounded and he didn’t know why, maybe he didn’t want to disappoint Hyunjin. “Just a little disclaimer...I don’t have 100% win rate.”

“Okay, Mr. Humble.” He said and pushed Seungmin to the controls of the machine. “Now show me.”

Seungmin took the analog stick with one hand and summoned his inner prowess. He moved the analog stick towards the direction of one particular Eevee plushie and the claw obeyed. When he’s certain that the claw is aligned with the plushie, he pressed the big red button and prayed to all the deities in the sky. The claw lowered slowly and grabbed the plushie by the ear, its hold on it was weak and for a second, he thought he would fail. 

The claw dropped the Eevee on the hole on the corner of the machine and the both of them jumped up with Hyunjin grabbing his shoulders and shaking him with glee. “You did it!”

Seungmin was suddenly hyper-aware of how close the two of them are; Hyunjin’s hands on him, his own hands on Hyunjin, and they were so close that he can’t help but to notice how good his cologne was. He pulled away from the older boy and crouched down to claim their prize, “Of course I did it! I wasn’t lying when I said I was good at this.”

“Not gonna lie, I thought you were gonna fail.” Hyunjin teased which earned him a light smack on the arm. 

Seungmin’s mouth dropped open, feeling insulted. “Y’know what? I was thinking about giving this to you but nevermind, since you’re mean.” He said and hid the little plushie behind his back, sticking his tongue out. 

“Okay, just give it to me. Thank you.” The raven-haired boy leaned forward and tried to take the stuffed toy from Seungmin, wrapping his arms around him in order to reach behind his back.

He basically just insulted him and now he’s trying to take away his prize, the audacity of this bitch. Seungmin giggled and stepped away, putting them in an awkward position because Hyunjin’s hands were still around him, trying to reach for the toy. “Oh no you don’t. Say sorry to me first.”

“I’m sorry.”

“And say that I’m the claw machine master.” 

“Kim Seungmin is the claw machine master.”

“Now, say ‘Thank you, Master.’”

“So you’re into that kinky stuff, huh?” Hyunjin smirked at him and suddenly his face was on fire. He pushed him away and shoved the Eevee to his chest, making sure to put as much space between them as possible. 

“Take it. Just take it and shut up.” 

“ _ Thank you, Master. _ ” Hyunjin teased and inched closer to him. He held up a hand and put it on the older’s chest, keeping him away. 

“You’re welcome, I hope that I made it up to you.” Seungmin rolled his eyes but he couldn’t help the smile that was forming on his face..

“You did.” Hyunjin beamed and his eyes turned into crescent moons. A warm feeling bloomed in Seungmin’s chest. “I had fun today.” 

—

After that day, things definitely changed between them. Hyunjin realized this the next Monday, when he came to eat lunch with them at their table. When he set his tray down and sat right next to Seungmin, there was neither a piercing glare nor an off-handed insult sent his way. Instead, the younger boy smiled at him, “Hey.”

Felix and Jisu looked at him with wide eyes, dumbfounded by the sight in front of them. Honestly, Hyunjin was just as shocked. “Are you okay? Are you sick or something?” 

“No? Why do you ask?” 

“Hyunjin just sat beside you and you’re sitting there like world peace was just announced.” Jisu inserted.

“I think he’s cool now.” Seungmin mumbled under his breath and oddly enough, Hyunjin felt like there was a rollercoaster inside his stomach.

“Oh my god, it’s the end of the world!” The freckled boy pulled at his blonde hair.

“Can’t a guy change his mind about something or someone?” Seungmin rolled his eyes at his best friends. “And besides, isn’t this what you guys wanted?”

“Okay, sure.” Felix gave Jisu a knowing look, his voice oozing with sarcasm. “ _ We  _ wanted this.”

“Whatever.” Seungmin brushed him off and ate a tater tot. Despite what movies and tv shows have been showing about cafeteria’s having the worst food, Seungmin was thankful that their cafeteria actually served god tier food. When he looked at Hyunjin, he noticed that he was kinda looking down in the dumps. “What’s up with you?”

Hyunjin sighed in frustration. “Do you guys hate chemistry too? Because I swear to god, that subject will be the death of me.” He looked like he was about to explode, his hands gripping the edge of the table. 

“Woah, there. Chill for a sec, what happened with chemistry?” It was Felix who asked. 

“Mr. Ko told me that if I fail one more quiz, I’ll fail his whole class.” He melted into his chair, defeated. 

“Well, you’re always absent so…deserved” Seungmin pointed out and shrugged. Hyunjin pouted at him. “I’m just kidding. I can tutor you if you want.”

“Really? You’d do that?”

“Yeah sure. It’ll serve as a review for me.” 

“Wait you  _ never  _ tutor me and Jisu!” 

“I always let you copy my homework.” 

“That's still not tutoring and you let us copy  _ sometimes _ not always.” Felix corrected. 

“It’s not my fault that you keep gushing over that hot cashier at Blueprint instead of doing your homework every night.” 

—

Hyunjin asked Seungmin if he could start tutoring him the day after the younger offered. So they agreed to study back at his house.

It took Seungmin at least four frustrating hours, three cups of hot chocolate, and one mental breakdown to teach Hyunjin their first lesson; but thankfully, Hyunjin did understand the lesson just when the sun set. 

“Hey, can I tell you something?” Hyunjin asked as he leaned over the desk in his room. It was Seungmin’s first time to enter his room and he felt embarrassed because he forgot to clean up beforehand.

“Yeah sure.”

“I’m not the fuckboy that everybody thinks I am.” He started, he didn’t really expect a reply from the younger boy since his statement doesn’t really require one, so when Seungmin just stared at him, he continued, “I’ve never actually had… you know.” 

“I’m confused.” He tilted his head, eyebrows furrowing. Poor guy, he looked like a confused little puppy. 

“I don’t know who started the rumors, I didn’t even have the chance to deny since everybody already heard the rumor before I did.”

“So like...all the stories I’ve heard about you aren’t true?”

“Nope.” 

“Oh my god, so you never actually used your—” He clasped a hand over Seungmin’s mouth. Whatever he wanted to say, he wanted to hear none of it.

“Shut up.” 

Seungmin chuckled and took his hand off his mouth. “I guess I hated you for the wrong reasons, huh.”

Hyunjin hummed. “Well...do you still hate me?”

“No…”

“Then I’m glad.” Hyunjin smiled sincerely and felt something jump inside his chest, weird. He cleared his throat, stood up, and organized his desk. Seungmin took that as a sign to do the same. 

“Come on,” Hyunjin grabbed a jacket from his dresser and walked to his door. “I’ll walk you home.”

Seungmin looked at him weirdly, “Why?”

“You’re tutoring me… It’s the least I could do.” He explained. 

“You can just pay me cash.” 

“Wow. I didn’t take you for a capitalist.” He grinned and punched him lightly.

“Really, though. You don’t have to walk me home.” Seungmin looked down shyly as they walked down the stairs and into the living room of the house. 

“I want to.” Hyunjin said just to shut him up so that he had no other choice but to accept. But he wasn’t lying. He wanted to walk him home and spend a little bit more time with the boy that used to hate him. Was it normal to feel that way? He couldn’t put a finger on it but something about Kim Seungmin sparked his interest. Something that kept him on the edge of his seat. 

The walk to Seungmin’s house was quiet, but not awkward. The night was cold and the wind made them shiver even through thick clothes. Soon enough, their shoulders were touching; trying to find extra warmth. Hyunjin didn’t know if Seungmin was aware of it too, but he sure was for the rest of the walk. 

When Hyunjin waved goodbye from the sidewalk outside of Seungmin’s home, he already missed the warmth on his shoulder.

—

Hyunjin always had trouble with studying(obviously, that’s why he’s in this predicament in the first place), he had trouble studying in the quiet of his room; so when Seungmin had suggested to tutor him at Blueprint, he was skeptical.

Surprisingly enough, the steady buzz of the other customers and the occasional ring of the door chimes stimulated his will to learn the topic. The only distraction that he encountered in the past three hours was Felix whispering in his ear about how the guy in the counter was hot and had the cutest smile in the world. 

“Felix,” Seungmin scolded while sighing. He rubbed his eyes in frustration. “Just go talk to him and stop interrupting us.” The brunette ushered him off his chair and Felix actually stood up and approached the guy at the counter.

“Be cool.” Hyunjin whisper-shouted and sent a supporting thumbs up towards the freckled-boy.

When Felix arrived at the counter, he gave the guy a sheepish smile, his cheeks burning. “Hi. We were just talking about you.” 

Hyunjin felt himself, Seungmin, and the entire population of Italy facepalm. All 60.36 million of them. How could anyone in this world be so awkward? 

“I can’t. I can’t. I can’t take this.” Seungmin averted his eyes from the disaster that was happening at the counter and covered his eyes. “We need to take a break. Talk to me.” 

“About what?” 

“Anything. Just… stop me from hearing whatever the fuck he’s saying to the poor guy.”

“Umm...okay. I named the plushie that you gave me.” Hyunjin spat out immediately, not a second to waste. 

“If you named him brownie, I’ll punch you.” The younger boy threatened and Hyunjin chuckled at his fist on top of the table.

“I named him ‘Minnie’.”

“Like...the mouse?” Seungmin scoffed.

“No. Like Kim Seungminnie.”

“God, I’d rather hear Felix’s awkward flirting.”

“But I have a good reason why!”

“Then why?” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back on his chair.

“Because you look like him.” Hyunjin mumbled softly, suddenly realizing how weird his reason was. “He’s cute and fluffy. You’re cute and your hair is fluffy.”

Hyunjin was about to reach over and ruffle Seungmin’s hair but he snatched his hand right out of the air. “Hey!” The younger was glaring at him but Hyunjin didn’t even feel intimidated because of the red color showing on his cheeks. 

“I’m not.” He continued glaring, but it didn’t pass Hyunjin’s attention that the younger hadn’t let go of his hand. Hyunjin smiled stupidly while staring at Seungmin. He was trying his best to look threatening but he  _ still  _ looked cute and it tugged at Hyunjin’s heartstrings. Fuck, he just wanted to reach over and squeeze his cheeks; but for now, He settled on squeezing his hand. 

“You are.” Hyunjin smilled, causing the other to turn another shade darker.

Seungmin snapped his hand away, reached for his iced chocolate and took a big gulp. But Hyunjin would never know how fast Seungmin's heart was beating in his chest. 

“I’m so fucking stupid. I’m so sorry.” Hyunjin exhaled and buried his face in his hands. Two more hours passed and as the lessons got harder and harder, he found himself even more frustrated. No matter how many times Seungmin repeated for him, he just couldn’t understand. The added pressure of graduation being just around the corner didn’t help either. He felt apologetic for Seungmin because he was being difficult to teach and the younger boy had been nothing but patient the whole day. Hyunjin’s throat closed up and tears stung his eyes. “I just… can’t understand.” 

“Hey,” Seungmin reached over and held his hand, it was soft, warm, and comforting. He rubbed circles onto the back of his hand and the ache in Hyujin’s chest eased a bit. “It’s okay.”

“No. It’s not, I’m just wasting your time.” Hyunjin swallowed the lump in his throat. “I’m never gonna understand this and I won’t be able to graduate on time.”

“Hey. Look at me.” Seungmin squeezed his hand, urging him to meet his eyes. So Hyunjin did, he looked and took in all the sincerity in the younger’s eyes. “I won’t let you fall behind… I won’t. Can you promise me something?” 

Hyunjin was lost in his eyes, the pupils pulling him in like a gravitational singularity. He heard the question but he couldn’t bring himself to respond, not when Seungmin’s hand was sending sparks up and down his whole body. 

“Promise me that you won’t give up.” Seungmin said when Hyunjin didn’t respond. “I’ll teach you no matter how difficult this gets, I’ll have your back because I  _ know  _ that you’ll be able to do this. I trust that you will and you have to trust yourself too. So promise me.”

Something fluttered inside his chest. A feeling that was all too familiar but he couldn’t believe that he was feeling it for  _ the Kim Seungmin.  _ It was hard for Hyunjin to trust himself but Seungmin did. If somebody told him that Kim Seungmin had his back three months ago, he would’ve laughed his ass off. But now, butterflies were eating at his insides. 

Seungmin let go of his hand and held out his pinky, signalling Hyunjin to do the same. He hooked his own pinky with Seungmin's, sealing the promise, because somehow, knowing that Seungmin won’t leave him behind, he felt like he could do anything.

When he walked Seungmin home that evening, he couldn’t help but steal glances at the younger’s soft features under the pale light of the streetlights. Why didn’t it ever occur to him in the past that Kim Seungmin, resident prude and genius of the school, looked so breathtaking?

—

Hyunjin was in trouble. After that day, everything that crossed his mind, involved a certain brown-haired boy. His dark brown eyes that held all the stars in the universe, his nose that could put the slope of Mount Everest to shame, his soft pink lips that should be the eighth wonder of the world, and his nasal laugh that could probably cure all the illnesses known to man. It was a simple crush, he reminded himself. He had never been so wrong in his whole life. 

They were in his room, laying on the bed, taking a break from studying. Hyunjin felt great after finally understanding the lesson. “Do you know how to do braids?” He asked.

The younger looked up from his phone, he was randomly going through his social media. “Yeah...Jisu once taught me and Felix a few different kinds of braids. It was fun.” 

“Will you braid a part of my hair?” He asked.

“Yeah sure. Come here.” Seungmin layed a pillow on his lap and patted it, motioning for Hyunjin to lay down. His heart started racing.

After searching for a few hairbands, he settled himself on the pillow on Seungmin’s lap and when he looked up, he almost died. Seungmin was looking down at him with big puppy-dog eyes. He looked so fucking adorable and so close that Hyunjin almost combusted then and there. “What kind of braid do you want?” 

Hyunjin ran a hand through his raven hair. It was getting quite long that it almost looked like a mullet. “Just do little ones.”

When Seungmin combed his fingers through his hair, Hyunjin just about died(again). He always loved it when people played with his hair, but the fact that his (not)crush is the one doing it, he couldn’t stop the stupid smile on his face. “What?” Seungmin asked with furrowed brows, skeptical but he was also suppressing a smile. God, he was cute.

“Nothing. I just like it when people play with my hair. I think I’ll fall asleep.” Hyunjin said. He closed his eyes and focused on Seungmin’s fingers combing his hair, he just hoped that he wasn’t red as a beet. “Will that be okay? If I just fall asleep here on your lap?” He tested. 

“It’s okay as long as you don’t fall for me.” Seungmin responded and Hyunjin hoped to god that he  _ really  _ wasn’t red as a beet. Did Kim Seungmin just flirt with him? He opened his eyes and as expected, Seungmin was right above him.

“That’s too bad.” He said with a lopsided smile.

“Why?” 

“Because it’s too late. I think I already did.” He didn’t say it teasingly, but he didn’t say it seriously either. There’s a grey area for cowards and that’s where Hyunjin’s words belonged. But even so, Seungmin turned pink all the way to his neck. 

The younger glared at him, “I will pull your hair.” He threatened. 

“I didn’t know you were kinky.” Now he was teasing.

“Okay, off you go. I can’t do this with you. Stay away from me.” Seungmin pushed him off his lap, Hyunjin sat up and made his way back to him, refusing to stay away with the room filled with their loud laughter.

“Okay, fine! I’m sorry! I’ll shut up now!” Hyunjin forfeited as their hands were still intertwined from pushing each other. Seungmin stopped pushing so now they were just sitting there, holding each others’ hands and smiling like idiots. Their eyes meet and they just sit like that for who knows how long. A second, a minute, a millenia. It didn’t matter because Hyunjin was happy like that. 

“Idiot.” Seungmin broke contact and flicked his forehead. Hyunjin flinched and pouted at the younger, who was patting his lap. “Now, come here.”

In the end, Hyunjin did fall asleep on his lap and Seungmin fell asleep right after finishing his little braids; and if Yeji walked in on them in that state, no one will ever know. Except Yeji, Jisu(after Yeji tells her), and Felix(after Jisu tells him). 

The next day at school, Seungmin called him out. “Why are you still wearing the braids? They’re all disheveled now.” 

Seungmin walked over to his seat at the back and was about to take the braids off but Hyunjin snatched his hand away. “Don’t. I like them.” 

“Calm down, dingo. I’m just gonna redo them.” He placed himself behind Hyunjin and started to undo the braids. Hyunjin was used to prying eyes, being the so-called fuckboy, but at that moment, he was hyper-aware that  _ every one  _ of their classmates was staring at them. Felix and Jisu were smirking as if they knew a secret that only they knew.

He heard Felix say, "Alexa, play "Something There" from the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack."

—

The next tutor session they had, they were in the public library. Seungmin made a deal with Hyunjin, he was going to give him questions, and for every wrong answer, he would flick Hyunjin right on the forehead. Hyunjin argued that he should get a prize too for every right answer. 

That is how they left the library with a red faced Kim Seungmin because Hyunjin wanted to pinch the younger boy's cheeks for every right answer. Hyunjin almost aced his tutor's test. 

A few hours after the sun had set and they were walking down the stairs outside of the library, Hyunjin decided to walk Seungmin home again. "Okay tell me, are you really not understanding the topics? Or are you just-"

"-faking stupid just to spend more time with you?" Hyunjin smirked and looked at the boy beside him. "Well, yes I didn’t understand at first but I do now, thanks to you. Faking stupid? No, I read in advance to impress you. Want to spend more time with you? A big yes, Kim Seungmin."

Seungmin stopped in his tracks. "Okay that wasn't the question I had in mind, and that information is hard to process." He looked down and started walking again but faster, Hyunjin carefully trailing beside him. 

"What part? The impressing you part or the spending more time with you part?" Hyunjin ducked to properly look at Seungmin's face. Seungmin rolled his eyes and before he could reply, droplets of rain started pattering on the pavement around them. 

"Shit! Do you have an umbrella in your backpack?" Seungmin said as he put his hands on his head trying to keep his head dry. 

"I didn't think it would rain today so I didn't bring one!" Hyunjin replied while mimicking Seungmin's action of trying to keep dry. "Come on, let's make a run for it!" 

Hyunjin took his hand and they ran. Holding hands while running through the rain. How cliché, Seungmin thought. It would've been a sucky situation, running under the rain. But he was with Hyunjin, holding his hand; and the taller boy was laughing. It was enough to make him all giddy inside. 

"There! A phone booth!" Hyunjin pointed with his other hand, a few hundred meters away was indeed a phone booth. "Let's go there and take cover until the rain stops." 

The phone booth was the kind where only one person could fit at a time. So when they got inside, they were facing each other at least an inch apart. The fact that they had backpacks on didn't help. Just when Seungmin thought it couldn't get any more cliché.

They were still laughing when they finally closed the door of the booth. "Okay that was fun!" Hyunjin exclaimed. 

"What do you mean fun? We could get sick!" Seungmin pushed at Hyunjin's chest. He didn't realize how soaking wet they were until now. 

"Aww, is the cute little puppy concerned for my well being?" Hyunjin cooed and ruffled the younger's wet hair. Seungmin took Hyunjin's hand off his head, but not letting go of it(he would never admit that it was intentional though).

"Excuse me but I'm concerned for  _ my own _ well being." He glared at the taller boy, and inched away from him. 

"Then why is your face red?" Hyunjin asked and Seungmin looked away to the side, brows furrowed. 

"It's because you were pinching my cheeks the whole afternoon." He defended himself. 

"That was a long time ago, Seungminnie." Seungmin was still facing sideways but he could feel the boy in front of him smirk. 

"No it wasn't."

"Whatever you say." 

"Shut up, I hate you." Seungmin didn't really mean it, he just wanted Hyunjin to stop making him feel a lot of feelings. 

Hyunjin leaned down a little bit and whispered in Seungmin's ear. "Then why are you still holding my hand?" 

At that moment, Seungmin practically felt his whole body heat up. Head to toe. He let go of Hyunjin's hand immediately and looked down at their shoes. He knows that his face is red and he didn't want Hyunjin to see him all flustered. 

Hyunjin giggled. "No don't! I like holding your hand." He grabbed the younger boy's hand again and intertwined their fingers.

Hyunjin liked holding his hand, he thought, so he didn't pull away. "B-but why?" He stuttered. 

"It keeps my hand warm, but more because it keeps me warm and happy on the inside too." Hyunjin was smiling softly. Too soft for Kim Seungmin. That made him smile and look down at their feet again. 

Out of nowhere, Hyunjin asked, "Hey, will you go out on a date with me?" 

A moment passed, and another, and another. 

"The rain stopped, let's go." Seungmin pulled Hyunjin out of the phone booth. 

"Hey you're not answering my question." 

"Just walk faster before the rain comes back."

"You're not saying no." Hyunjin smirked at their hands. Seungmin was still pulling him towards the direction of his house. 

"I'm not saying yes either." 

Seungmin ended up inviting Hyunjin over because it was late and he was soaking wet. Hyunjin met his parents and older brother. It was a wholesome interaction except for the part where his family revealed many embarrassing moments and photos to Hyunjin. 

Seungmin’s mom insisted on Hyunjin spending the night because the rain was still raging outside. He slept in Seungmin’s room but don't worry, Hyunjin had insisted on sleeping on the floor.

"Sleep well, Seungminnie." He said just before he saw Seungmin disappear under his sheets.

—

Hyunjin picked the location for their next tutor session and he chose the riverbank. Seungmin thought that it was kind of inconvenient but he decided to roll with it.

When Seungmin arrived, Hyunjin was already seated on a blanket with a picnic basket and thermos nearby. Seungmin felt his face go warm as he thought that everything that he was seeing yelled out  _ date! _ , but he didn't want to assume so he brushed it off and walked towards Hyunjin. He hated his brain sometimes.  _ He didn’t want dates. _

"Okay, why the heck am I still tutoring you? You seem to have everything under control now." It's been an hour since they've started and now they're lying on their backs looking at the cloudy sky above them. 

"No, I don't." 

"Hyunjin," He turned his head to face the boy beside him. "Everything that I've tried to teach you today, you replied with an 'I know'."

"Well," Hyunjin chuckled and faced his tutor. "Maybe I just wanted to have a date with you." 

Seungmin glared at him and looked back up at the sky to avoid eye contact. "This isn't a date, idiot."

"Oh my god, you're such a tsundere."

"I'm not!" Seungmin was glaring at the sky but his glare intensified anyway because he's mad that Hyunjin is right. He was a tsundere. 

"That's what a tsundere would say." He could feel Hyunjin smirk beside him. 

"Whatever, shut up." Seungmin mumbled. 

Hyunjin shuffled his body to face Seungmin, propping his head on his hand. "Hey, you didn't answer my question last time."

"What question?"

"Will you go out on a date with me?" 

Shit. Seungmin couldn't get out of this one. He doesn't know if he could steer away the topic. His principles in life would frown at him for actually being conflicted about this but the past few weeks have been fun, hanging out with Hyunjin. If he was being honest, he was developing feelings. Weird,sticky, sappy, horrible, sweet feelings that Felix and Jisu have been talking about. 

If he was being honest, Hwang Hyunjin was creeping his way into his heart. The same boy that used to irritate him so much, is now the cause of the seismic activities in his chest. But Seungmin doesn’t like to be honest. He liked to lie. He’s a liar, if he could lie his way into heaven, he would. But he couldn’t bear to say no to Hyunjin too, so he stayed silent and stared at the clouds like they were the most interesting thing in the world.

A few minutes had passed and Hyunjin was still silent, maybe he decided to drop the subject, much to Seungmin's relief. But he spoke too soon, he felt fingers crawl inside the holes of his ripped jeans and squeeze his left thigh. 

"Aaaaaaahhhh! Don't touch!" His nasally voice filled the air. 

"It's so soft like pudding!" Hyunjin genuinely looked surprised as if he really thought that the younger's thighs really were made out of pudding. "But answer my question first!" 

"That tickles!" Seungmin tried to push away his attacker but lacked the strength. His laughter echoed through the area. 

"Aww, is this cute little puppy ticklish?" Hyunjin kneeled over Seungmin and proceeded to bury his fingers against Seungmin's ribs, determined to tickle him harder. 

When Seungmin's elbow met Hyunjin's stomach(he swears that it was an accident), the tickle fest stopped. Seungmin, wiping tears from his eyes. Hyuniin, rubbing his stomach. But both had lovestruck smiles on their faces.

"Next week is my make-up quiz." Hyunjin brought up. 

"Goodluck, I guess?" 

"Let's make a bet! Since you won't answer my question." Seungmin turned to face him again and raised his eyebrow. Hyunjin had a glint in his eye. "If I pass my quiz, you'll go out on a date with me." 

Seungmin looked down as he thought. Long and hard. 

"You better not be leaving me on seen again or else I'm gonna tickle you again." Hyunjin warned. 

"Relax! I'm thinking," Seungmin held his hands up in surrender. "No more tickles."

When he finally had a conclusion in his head, Seungmin looked at Hyunjin. "Fine, but only if you get five mistakes and it’s for research purposes only!"

"What? That's impossible to pull off! How about fifteen mistakes?"

"Ten. Take it or leave it." Seungmin says with finality. 

"Deal." Hyunjin said with a satisfied smile. "You might as well just have said yes to going out with me." 

Seungmin hit his shoulder. "Wow! You're suddenly very confident with that quiz."

"Well what can I say," Hyunjin made eye contact with him and smirked. "I have the best tutor."

"I don't know who that is but I agree with you." Seungmin said sarcastically. 

A few seconds pass and Seungmin speaks up again. "But wait, what if you fail that quiz?"

"Then you keep on tutoring me," This time, Hyunjin didn't have a smirk on his face, but a fond smile. "Win-win situation."

—

Well. Spoiler alert, but Hyunjin passed the test with exactly ten mistakes. Hyunjin was so excited that when he got his results, he immediately ran all around their campus to find Seungmin. He eventually found him in the quad with Jisu, and he practically shoved his test paper on Seungmin's face. 

"Ha! You're going on a date with me!" He gave the test paper to Seungmin and skipped around the boy and his friend, chanting, "I'm going on a date with you."

Seungmin was dumbfounded and red as a beet. He didn't know what to say so he just kept on staring at the test paper with ten mistakes, Jisu smirking beside him. 

Hyunjin leaned over his shoulder from behind. "I'll pick you up tomorrow at noon." 

With that, Hyunjin skipped away like a member of the Von Trapp family, leaving his test paper with Seungmin. 

In the distance, Seungmin could hear Hyunjin yelling, "I'm going on a date with Kim Seungmin!" every three seconds, causing people to stare and whisper among themselves.

“For research purposes only!” Seungmin yelled after him but it was more for Jisu to hear than anyone else. 

—

The front door of Kim's residence opened and Hyunjin just froze. His jaw didn’t drop like in the movies, but he froze like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. Seungmin was the car, headlights in full power, and Hyunjin was hit by how beautiful that car was. 

Seungmin styled his hair differently, his bangs parted, revealing his forehead. He didn’t know how to describe Seungmin’s outfit but the only word that came to Hyunjin’s head was  _ daring,  _ contrary to his usual dandy wardrobe. His button-up shirt was unbuttoned, one button less than usual.

“Hey.” Seungmin spoke shyly, realizing that Hyunjin was staring. 

“H-hey.” Hyunjin was tongue-tied, he examined Seungmin’s face and he looked breathtaking as usual, but the pink in his cheeks made him even more adorable. “You look… great.”

“You don’t look too bad yourself.” He looked down at his feet, not wanting to meet Hyunjin’s eyes. 

The two boys chuckled at themselves. It was funny because Hyunjin had decided to wear dandy clothes this time, trying to match Seungmin, so now they look like they dressed up as each other. 

“Let’s go?” Hyunjin asked and the other nodded.

He brought Seungmin to a small pizzeria. It was nothing fancy but the younger had once told him that it was his favorite food place in their town, and he made sure to order his favorites; hawaiian pizza, a side of mojos(nothing spicy), and coke.

“Pineapples don’t go with pizza.” Hyunjin started the argument, he didn’t actually hate pineapples on pizza and he had nothing against pineapples but he just preferred his pizza pineapple-less. Like normal people do.

“They do.”

“They don’t.” 

“They do!”

“They don’t.”

“This is the worst date in the history of dates.” Seungmin rolled his eyes, trying to look annoyed, but the grin on his face said otherwise. Hyunjin just hoped that he felt happy as much as he looked happy. “I think I might have to ghost you here.” 

“Hey!” Hyunjin put on a shocked Pikachu face. “I’m kidding. I just wanted to argue because you look cute when you’re mad.”

As Seungmin sputtered in his seat, Hyunjin started picking the pineapples from one side of the pizza and put them on the other side. “There you go. Your half and my half.” 

Seungmin chuckled at his actions and the sound alone, brought butterflies to the older's stomach; but actually seeing his face light up,  _ damn _ , Hyunjin was sure that Kim Seungmin could put the sun to shame.

When they finished lunch, he dragged Seungmin to the bookstore. 

“Why are we here?” Seungmin asked as they walked in.

“You like bookstores don’t you?” 

“Yeah...but you don’t. Aren’t dates supposed to be...doing something that we both like to do together?” The younger tilted his head. Hyunjin couldn’t help but to coo, he really looked like a puppy. He just wanted to reach over and pull him in a hug.

“Yeah...but we’re here for research right?” Hyunjin took his hand and smiled, leading him into the depths of the bookshelves. “I’m here to teach you that sometimes, dates are also learning to love something that the other person loves.”

He was pulling Seungmin into the fantasy section when the younger stopped in his tracks, he was holding onto his hand tightly and he looked genuinely surprised about what Hyunjin had said. 

“Is everything alright, Seungminnie?” Hyunjin asked.

The younger stared at him for a second, a single second that could have meant so many things, then he shook his head and smiled. “Yeah, everything’s perfect. Let’s go.” 

He tightened his grip and pulled Hyunjin into all the different universes of the fictional world.

The bookstore had a little nook in the corner where they could read the books that they bought and the two boys spent the rest of the afternoon there, talking about all the books that Seungmin loved. His eyes lit up when he talked about the adventures of his favorite characters, he looked like the happiest boy on earth and Hyunjin hoped that it would stay that way, he hoped that Seungmin would always be happy, reading about his fictional boys and girls. 

He learned that Seungmin’s favorite was the Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare, a six-part series about “shadowhunters”, half-angel half-human beings that fight demons. His favorite character in everything that he’s ever read was Percy Jackson, the son of Poseidon. His favorite novel in general was Carry On by Rainbow Rowell, a story about a vampire and a wizard falling in love. He had a lot of opinions about all kinds of things, from the littlest details about Jane Austen’s writing to the world building in The Lord of the Rings; and Hyunjin was there to listen to all of it, and in a way, he learned more about Seungmin.

Seungmin was a dreamer, a person who lived in dreams and fiction; in a world where whales fly, trees sing, and where love conquers all. Felix once said that he’s insanely smart but extremely stupid when it came to the real world, “steet smarts” if you must say. That’s because he wasn’t meant for this mundane world, he was meant for something much colorful and extraordinary. 

He was meant to  _ create  _ worlds and Hyunjin wished that in one of those worlds, they were something much more than what they were now.

“Can I hold your hand while I walk you home?” Hyunjin asked nervously after leaving the bookstore, the twilight was glowing colorfully above them. He swallowed the lump in his throat. 

“For research purposes. Of course.” Hyunjin added. He didn’t want the other to reject.

“Sure.” Seungmin replied but the nervousness in his voice was evident too. “For research purposes.” He nodded.

They walked hand in hand throughout the whole walk, never letting go, not even once. Hyunjin was exhausted after everything they’d done but holding Seungmin’s hand was like a shot of adrenaline, he felt like he could walk the circumference of the Earth three times.

When they arrived at the front porch, Seungmin let go, causing a pout to show on Hyunjin’s lips. “What? You big baby.” 

“Your big baby.” Hyunjin said, still pouting. 

“God, shut up before you ruin the day.” Seungmin chuckled.

“So you admit you had a great time?”

“I had the best time, Hyunjin.” Seungmin said, nodding sincerely.

Hyunjin’s face lit up. A thought crossed his mind and he immediately looked nervous again. 

“What?” 

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” Hyunjin tried to deflect, badly.

“You were smiling just a second ago, tell me.”

He stared at Seungmin’s lips, and wondered what it would feel like to feel them against his. Before he could stop himself, the words escaped his lips, “Can I give you a kiss?” 

A beat.

Another beat.

And another.

Just when he thought the boy in front of him would say no, his lips parted and said in a whisper, “Yes.”

Hyunjin didn’t waste a second and leaned in, slotting his lips against Seungmin’s. It wasn’t like what the novels and movies described it; it wasn’t fireworks exploding, it wasn’t waves crashing. 

Kissing Kim Seungmin was coming home and crashing on your bed after a long day of school. It was the best feeling in the world. A relief after suffering for so long. 

When they pulled away, Hyunjin was sure that his face was burning. He took a look at Seungmin and he was beet red too, but he was avoiding his eyes, too flustered to function. 

“That was for research purposes too, right?” Seungmin asked, eyes looking at everything but Hyunin. “Thank you for today, Hyunjin. Good night.” 

Before he could respond, the younger boy entered his house and left Hyunjin there on the front porch. He felt a pang in his chest, he thought that the kiss was good. He thought that it would be the catalyst that would start a reaction in their chemistry. But was it  _ that  _ bad? Did he really think that it was just for research purposes only?

—

Seungmin had lost sight of his goal, he strayed too far from the path and now he’s lost in the deepest parts of his mind. The past few months, spending time with Hyunjin was great, he enjoyed the raven-haired boy’s company. But he enjoyed it a little too much. 

Too much that he actually fell for the boy that he used to hate. The gods above were probably laughing at him, enjoying every moment of his suffering. He never wanted any of this, he never wanted feelings. The deal was that they were just going to get to know each other so that they could write their story, but things went out of hand and now he’s sulking by himself at the Blueprint.

“I know that it’s none of my business, but you look pretty down today.” The waiter that Felix had a crush on asked. “Are you okay? Where are your friends?”

“It’s just me today. Felix and Jisu are my best friends but I don’t think I want to tell them what’s bothering me.” He slouched in his chair.

The waiter grabbed the chair across from him and slid into it, Seungmin read his nametag: Changbin. “Sounds like you still need somebody to talk to.”

Normally, the introvert in Seungmin would’ve turned a stranger away within a heartbeat. But the baggage in his heart and brain was heavy, he desperately needed someone to help him carry it. “There’s this guy...that I met. Well I knew him for a long time now but I never formally met him until a few months ago. I used to hate him but we became partners for a project, which was to write a love story. We  _ sucked  _ at it because I was so inexperienced with love. My friends suggested that he would teach me...you know… how to love. Long story short, he did teach me. I just didn’t realize how  _ literal  _ it was until it was too late. I fell for him.”

“ _ Wow.” _ Changbin’s eyes were the size of the moon. “That’s a lot to take in. I didn’t think you would actually tell me everything, but okay. First of all, what’s your name again?” 

“Seungmin.” 

“Seungmin, okay.” He repeated and cleared his throat. “Is this guy the same guy that brought you here on dates?”

“They weren’t dates but yes.” He corrected Changbin.

“Then I don’t get why falling in love with him is a problem.” He rested his arms on the tabletop.

“We’ve been doing all of this just for research purposes only,” 

“Fuck, you’re dense.” Changbin leaned back on his chair this time. “He’s just as whipped for you as you are with him. Open your eyes, maybe?”

“Even if that’s true...I don’t-” Seungmin hesitated.

“You don’t what?” 

“I don’t deserve him.” 

“And why not?”

“Because he’s Hwang Hyunjin,” Seungmin sighed, he closed his eyes and images of Hyunjin’s eye mole and radiant smile filled his thoughts. “The most beautiful boy at school, the boy that everybody loves, everybody expects him to date a girl or boy that was just as beautiful and interesting as him. Not Kim Seungmin, the nerd. I’m just me, boring and mundane, while he’s up there in the clouds, unreachable. What if we become a thing and he realizes that I’m the most boring person in the world and that I wasn’t even worth it?”

“I see.” Changbin nodded and stared at the front door.

“Well?” What do you think?”

“I think that...It’s not about him, Seungmin.” Changbin looked at him straight in the eyes, and for a moment, he could see all the wisdom in his eyes. “It’s about you.”

Seungmin looked down at his hands, tracing the lines on his palms. He didn’t understand what he meant and when he looked up again, Changbin continued, “You see, Seungmin. Loving is easy but  _ accepting _ love when you don’t love yourself is hard.”

His throat ran dry.

“Do you love yourself, Seungmin?” Changbin asked. Seungmin wanted to answer, but he couldn’t, and it felt like all of the world’s gravitational pull had concentrated on him to crush his heart. Tears stung his eyes and he had to look up at the ceiling just to prevent them from falling. 

The truth was that, even when Seungmin put on a strong front, cold and intimidating; he had a lot of insecurities, a lot of monsters that dwelled in his head. He was smart but that was just about it. He wasn’t strong and powerful like Jisu, he wasn’t interesting and lovable like Felix, he wasn’t beautiful like Hyunjin. But what he hated about himself most is that he was a coward. His mom had hooked him up with vocal lessons when he was young but after the first lesson, he quit. His dad tried to give him dancing lessons but he felt so awkward with his movements that he could already hear the crowd laughing at him, so he stopped. He rejected Na Jaemin’s offer for an interview just because he was too afraid to speak to him alone, and most of all he fell in love with Hwang Hyunjin, and he’s too scared to be catched.

“My last relationship didn’t end well. I loved her a lot, she made me happy and I never ever thought badly of her. But her own overthinking got to her. She always cried and we always fought. She thought that I was cheating on her because she thought that she wasn’t enough for me, but I never cheated on her and she  _ was _ enough for me. In the end, it was me who broke it off, I got tired with the fighting. Now, she’s actually doing great. She found out that she also liked girls and now she’s happy with her new girlfriend.”

Upon mentioning his ex’s newly found happiness, Changbin smiled genuinely. “I wasn’t the one who didn’t love myself, but I still learned that lesson the hard way.”

Changbin stood up and tucked the chair in the table. “I hope things go well for the two of you, Seungmin. I really do. But love yourself first, okay? You won’t truly deserve love unless you believe that you do.”

The older boy reached over and ruffled his head, he just learned his name five minutes ago, but he oddly felt comforted. His problem didn’t disappear, but at least he found the right path again. 

When he came home later that day, he borrowed Wonpil’s laptop and rewrote their whole project.

—

It took Ms. Minatozaki exactly thirty minutes to read their story, they patiently waited in their classroom while she squealed and sighed dreamily at whatever part she was reading.

When she handed the paper back to Seungmin, her smile reached her ears. Seungmin looked at the paper and it had a big red “A++++++” mark on it. An over exaggeration, but he wasn’t complaining. “That… was the best thing I have ever read in my life!” 

Seungmin chuckled at his teacher while Hyunjin was just awkwardly staring at them because he never got a chance to read the paper before Seungmin passed it. The teacher grabbed each one of their shoulders, “I can’t believe the both of you wrote that!” 

Hyunjin raised his hand. “Uhm. Actually, it was only him that—”

Seungmin slapped a hand over his mouth which surprised the older boy because it was the most interaction that they had the whole week. “ _ We wrote it. _ ” He smiled at him for a second and looked away.

Seungmin gave him the paper to read at home, and it wasn’t until later that night that Hyunjin realized that they  _ did  _ write that story together. 

It was 3:20 in the morning when Seungmin received the message from Hyunjin:  _ It’s our story. _

—

When the graduation ceremony finally ended, Hyunjin ran around the gymnasium to find Seungmin, his graduation toga flying behind him. It was now or never. The younger boy had been ignoring him for more than a week now and he had been dying to talk to him each and every day. It was painful when the only thing that Hyunjin ever wanted was sitting five rows in front of him, and he didn’t even give him a glance, not once. 

He didn’t find him in the gymnasium, he found him outside, taking a picture with his family. He waited patiently after they were done, then he approached, the gravel under his feet crunching while he inched closer. 

“Seungmin?” He mumbled out and cleared his throat. The boy didn’t hear him, it was his older brother that noticed him. Thankfully, he nudged Seungmin and pointed at his direction. He was talking to his parents, his smile shining as bright as the sun, but when he turned around and saw Hyunjin, his smile faded and a pain spiked in Hyunjin’s heart. 

Seungmin turned back to his family, “You guys can wait in the car, I’ll be there in a few.”

“Be quick or we’ll celebrate without you!” His brother teased with the same nasal voice that Seungmin has. 

Seungmin flashed him his middle finger which earned a glare from his mom. Hyunjin chuckled at the whole interaction and the younger turned back to him, clearing his throat. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey.” Suddenly, they were back to square one, it was like they never spent the last few months with each other and it made Hyunjin sad.

“I— Uhm.” Hyunjin started and slowly chuckled, it sounded pathetic. “I just wanted to thank you… for tutoring me. I never would’ve walked up that stage if it weren’t for you.”

“You’re welcome, and I’m glad that we graduated together.” He smiled softly, sincerely. But he wasn’t stupid, there was an elephant in the room that needed to be addressed. So he took the initiative and addressed it first. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” That was the only word that Hyunjin could let out because his throat was tightening up. 

“I’m sorry for ignoring you this past week. I— needed time to think. That kiss was perfect. Too perfect.”

“So does that mean that you’ll give me a chance?” Hyunjin didn’t know if he understood right. So he asked the most stupid question in the world.

Seungmin sighed and reached out to hold his hand, “Hyunjin, I like you. I really really do but I still need to sort out a lot of shit about myself.” 

“Why? I love you as you are.” Hyunjin said, sincerely, with all his heart.

“But I don’t, not yet, so I need to learn how to love myself first before I allow myself to be loved by you.” Seungmin let go of his hand to cup his face and Hyunjin leaned into the warmth. “I’m sorry. But for now, I’ll choose myself, okay?”

Hyunjin didn’t know how to feel. He was sad and hurt, but that was the selfish part of him. The other part of him agreed with Seungmin, he didn’t know that the younger felt like this on the inside, and if he had to focus on himself first in order to be happy, then he would want Seungmin to choose himself too; because to him, Seungmin’s happiness was all that mattered, whether he was there or not.

“Okay...It’s okay.” He reassured the younger boy, he cupped his own hand on Seungmin’s face. An action that he always wanted to do. “But is it okay if I wait for you?”

“Of course, Hyunjin. It would also be okay if you stopped waiting, I can’t guarantee how long this would take.” 

“I won’t stop.” Hyunjin inched closer and closer, and eventually, their foreheads were touching and they were sharing the same air. 

“Then I’m glad.” 

“Can I ask for one thing before you leave?”

“Yeah?” 

“Can I give you one last kiss?”

“Yes.” 

“But not for research purposes anymore.” Hyunjin made sure that it was clear.

“Not for research purposes anymore.” Seungmin repeated.

So they kissed, and it wasn’t like what Hyunjin felt the last time. It was just like what the novels and movies described it; it was fireworks exploding and it was waves crashing on Hyunjin, all at once.

When they pulled away, they had the most lovestruck smile on their faces. 

“Can you promise me one thing too?” Hyunjin asked.

“What now?” Seungmin rolled his eyes, giggling.

“When things finally go right, when the universe finally allows  _ us  _ to happen, we’ll write a sequel to our story.” He said and the smile on Seungmin’s face was so bright that he wanted to keep it in his pocket forever. 

“I promise.”

He couldn’t hold himself back from wrapping his hands around the boy and burying his face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent that he’s grown to love over the months. Seungmin hugged him back and he could’ve sworn that he was in nirvana. “Thank you, Seungminnie. Congratulations on graduating.”

“Congratulations, Hyunjin. I’ll see you around.”

They pulled away and looked at each other with fond smiles for a few more seconds.

“Hey, dingo! We’re leaving if you plan on standing there all night!” Wonpil shouted from their car. So that’s where Seungmin got the word “dingo” from. The two boys chuckled and said their final goodbyes.

As Hyunjin waved at Seungmin’s car driving away, he felt a hand rest on his shoulder, he turned around and it was Yeji. 

“Things went okay?” She asked with a smile.

“Yeah.”

“So you’re together now?” 

“Nope.” 

“Wait, he turned you down?” Yeji’s eyes widened with shock and confusion.

“Yep.” Hyunjin started walking towards their own parents and Yeji followed suit.

“Then why are you all smiley and happy?!” Hyunjin could laugh at her disorientation.

“Let’s just go. You don’t have to know.” He draped his hand over his sister’s shoulder and Yeji did the same to him, she didn’t understand what was happening but her brother looked happy, so she just let it be.

It was true that Seungmin turned him down, but how could he not be all smiley and happy when Seungmin promised to write a sequel with him? It’s so strange when you love someone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! How was it? I didn't want to write a typical ending where they end up together... so I did that. I hope it wasn't too sad??? 
> 
> But yeah! Please let me know what you think!! Kudos and comments are always appreciated <3
> 
> Lets be moots on twt??   
> Stay acc: @kimwonhappypil  
> Nctzen acc: @nomindotae


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